


Keep Your Enemies Closest

by EternalSoldierKasumi, RainingStars



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: AU, Destiny, M/M, Re-Education, Threesome, Written before episode 44, but that clears up soon, city council members, lil' bit angsty in the beginning, steve and cecil dated once, thanks wikipedia for sciency info
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 19:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1660271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalSoldierKasumi/pseuds/EternalSoldierKasumi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainingStars/pseuds/RainingStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Carlos finally finds out why Cecil hates Steve Carlsberg so much. He is a scientist, he is supposed to consider every possible alternative. But what if that alternative is so queer, not even logical science can fix what has been broken for so long?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Your Enemies Closest

**Author's Note:**

> So Kelly and I decided to write a thing together. This thing was based off of a headcanon I had, but after episode 44, it now seems to be AU. BUT, we're going to try to connect this with the canon now that there is a canon. 
> 
> Anyway: Cecil takes no shit, Carlos feels guilty about shit, and boy, that's only chapter 1! 
> 
> So without further ado, enjoy friends.

 

_“They’re still together?”_

_“I know. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”_

_“But they aren’t destined, are they?”_

_“No, that hasn’t changed. Besides, I personally don’t think they make a very sensible couple.”_

_“Quiet, George.”_

_“Well it’s my opinion and apparently it’s shared by the universe.”_

_“I suggest we get the rest of the Council and figure out a way to handle it. This is a bigger problem than you and I can handle.”_

_“But won’t meddling in their affairs, however un-logical they are, create some sort of problem?”_

_“That’s ridiculous, George, and everyone else would say so as well.”_

_“Alright, alright. I’ll go and summon the others.”_

* * *

 

“Steve Carlsberg took my parking spot today.” 

Carlos wasn’t sure if he had said something wrong, or with the wrong inflection, but the look that possessed Cecil’s face didn’t seem like a normal reaction to such a trivial problem.

“...Something the matter, Cee?”

Cecil pursed his lips. Thousands of questions seemed to be forming in his head, but in the end he settled on, “Steve, you said?”

“Yeeees,” Carlos said stretching out the word cautiously. He wasn’t sure if he should tread lightly, but he’d definitely struck a wrong chord with his partner.

“What about Steve?” Cecil asked. His expression was unreadable, but certainly nothing Carlos found particularly pleasant.

“He just...took my spot, I guess. Maybe he forgot that lot was for scientists only? ” Carlos rambled, swirling the contents of the drink Cecil had made for him when he’d gotten home. “It was no big deal. I just had to drive around a few times before I found another spot.”

Cecil’s brow furrowed, his mouth twisting into an unpleasant grimace. Carlos took this as a sign that maybe he shouldn't have mentioned Steve. Cecil was giving him a look that signaled he might switch into 'overprotective mode' at any second. This happened whenever Carlos mentioned an inconvenience.  He knew Cecil meant well and that he was just trying to help Carlos feel comfortable in the strange town of Night Vale, but it had been over a year and a half since Carlos arrived, and he'd appreciate not having this happen every time Cecil asked how his day had been.

“He must have done it on purpose,” Cecil mumbled. “He’s out to get you, I swear.”

Carlos tried to offer a reassuring smile, “Heh, I doubt that. We barely know each other.”

“Still,” the radio host replied. “I wouldn’t put it past him.”

"Cecil, I'm serious. It's no big deal. This is the first time this has happened, so it's not like he's antagonizing me."

Cecil sighed, turning to their supper still waiting and cooking on the stovetop. “I still don’t have a good feeling about it. Steve Carlsberg wants nothing more than to ruin me, to ruin our beloved Night Vale. I know it!” Cecil exclaimed.

Carlos didn’t know what to say. Carlos watched Cecil’s forearm tense as he gripped the spoon he was using with more force than necessary. He tried to think of something that could possibly comfort him. “Well, at least he wasn’t trying to convince me to join the underground, anti-Night Vale army he’s obviously been hiding, right?”

Carlos gave an exhale that passed for some sort of laugh. He hoped Cecil would laugh too.

He didn’t.

“Carlos,” Cecil said carefully. “Don’t joke about that.” He nodded his head, ever-so-subtly, toward the window. Carlos had no doubt no doubt Rufus, their Secret Police officer from the Department of Civil Protection and Surveillance, was just ourside. Rufus was a nice man, and sometimes they would offer him dinner, but he was also fiercely loyal to his rulers. As was the rest of the town, except for a few deviants.

“Cecil, I know what you’re thinking, and Steve isn’t a deviant or whatever you’re calling him this week.” Carlos got up and crossed over to his partner, slipping his hands around the other man’s waist and perching his chin on his shoulder. “Don’t get so worked up about this, alright? My day was fine other than that small incident, and it was made even better when I got to come home and see you.”

Cecil couldn’t help but smile at Carlos’ touch, the way he smelled like chemicals, but also like the cinnamon air freshener he hung above his desk to mask the chemical smell. He took in the way his soft brown curls, once again due for a heartbreaking haircut, fell. It was streaked with more gray than it was when he first came to Night Vale, and his hairline was slowly, but surely, beginning to recede. Though Cecil had learned a long time ago that Carlos was not, in fact, perfect, he certainly was one thing, and that was Cecil’s. And that meant that he knew just the way to ease his frazzled nerves when it really counted.

The hands around Cecil’s abdomen began to slowly rub back and forth along his waist line, dipping down only once just a bit lower, and with just a little more firmness. “Now, what do you say we finish dinner, and then we’ll have some dessert?” The nibble Carlos placed on Cecil’s ear indicated he wasn’t talking about simple cake or ice cream…

Cecil flushed like he always did, though it was more of a bruise color than one of roses and tomatoes. He felt the ichor in his blood rise up, and felt the familiar urge to burst forth, out of the confines of this reality and into—

“BUT,” Carlos cut off the flushing Cecil from whatever thoughts were racing through his mind. “ _After_ dinner. I’m starving.”

* * *

Cecil, half-undressed and Seeing, wrapped himself, and at least seven of his appendages, around Carlos.

Carlos loved the warmth that came with being wrapped up in Cecil. The tentacles had taken some time to get used to. Not because they were...well, actually, partially because they were extremely strange and foreign, but also **—** Yeah, mostly because they were extremely strange. But, was it really Carlos’ fault? He came from Arizona, and Arizona wasn’t exactly crawling with half-human, half-Other, or whatever it was Cecil was supposed to be. But, he’d warmed up to them quickly. Especially after the first few nights when he’d just been getting to know them.

Now Carlos stroked a tentacle that was wrapped around his right arm, toying with its end and smirking as it shivered along with Cecil. “Cee, can I ask you something?”

The answer came less as a verbal Yes, but more as a feeling of approval washing over Carlos.

“So…” Carlos shifted positions, propping himself on one elbow and facing Cecil, forehead to forehead. He mustered the most seductive voice he could and whispered, “Why do you hate Steve so much?”

And that approval dissipated, being replaced with a sense of annoyance, the usually insistent tentacles slowing down, some of them pulling away.

Carlos held onto the tentacle he’d been stroking and gripped it. “No, no, Cecil I’m sorry, don’t leave.” Carlos gave Cecil a look, the kind that said both, ' _Sorry,'_   and, ' _We should still fuck.'_

Cecil’s eyes rolled, and he continued to touch Carlos like he had before.

Carlos gave a small sigh of relief, and began to suck on the end of the tentacle in his hand, enjoying the sensation of the pulses that ran through it as Cecil moaned in pleasure. He was glad he had such an easy source of distraction and one that made him happy as well. Removing the tentacle from his mouth, Carlos slyly crawled on top of Cecil, wrapping his legs around the other man. “I’ve been waiting to see you all day. Honest. God, you look amazing right now.” Carlos breathed. He ran his finger along Cecil’s Eye, the one resting on his forehead. “Do you know what I’m thinking?”

“Still about Steve,” Cecil muttered, his voice tinged with something that was not quite sound, but more just otherworldly background static that came with the territory of having his Eye open. It usually sounded terrifying at worst, and endearing at best, but now to Carlos it just seemed sort of bitchy.

“Shit, fine. Maybe I was,” Carlos huffed a little. “I really don’t get why you can’t just tell me so we can move on. I’ve been horny all day and blue balling me isn’t helping.”

Carlos knew blue balls weren’t actually a scientific or medically accurate thing, but it was still worth a shot. Nevertheless, he could tell his efforts at being playful and connecting everything back to sex were wearing thin, along with his boyfriend’s patience.

Cecil closed his eyes, all three of them, in frustration.

“This is a matter for us to discuss outside of the bedroom. So, frankly, if you weren’t too keen on waiting, you shouldn’t have brought it up at all.”

“Fine. I’ll just do it myself,” Carlos declared as he undid his belt and pulled down his pants. He kicked them off with more annoyance than he’d intended. “I mean, in my opinion, it’s a little immature to have such a baseless grudge against someone. I’ve talked to Steve before, and we’ve had decent conversations.”

Carlos unbuttoned his shirt and pretended not to notice the eyes that turned to gaze up at him. “Furthermore, grudges are pointless stress triggers, and I won’t go into the science of neurotransmitters and adrenals, but it’s a proven fact that discussing problems helps relieve stress. And, I think talking would help us both be a little less on-edge and help me to understand what’s so bad about Steve.” Down came the boxers, leaving him completely exposed with the small bit of science as his only defense. “But, I guess not. So you just have fun with your stupid pent up aggression towards Steve, alone, and I’ll deal with this pent up—”

“Stop acting like you’re so smart,” Cecil snapped, and in an instant his tentacles had been tucked back into whatever inter-dimensional plane they normally resided in, and he was standing up, pulling on his pants and buttoning them up with a hurt sort of rage. “Just because you’re a scientist or whatever. Oh, big deal, you look at cells and mix weird chemicals. I did that when I was six.”

“Cec—”

“No, stop. Stop whatever you’re saying and just...just leave me be. Go jack off in peace. No one’s stopping you.” He picked up his glasses, vest, and socks and left the room in an enraged rush.

Carlos sat there, alone, hand inches away from his dick, like a stupid and hormonal child. He’d wanted to frustrate Cecil, sure...but not this much. He’d never even meant to go off on the rant he’d just had, but he couldn’t help himself. Now he’d crossed a line, one he’d never been aware of, but should have seen coming.. “You fucking moron,” he hissed to himself as he rambled around the floor, collected his clothes and putting them on as quickly as he could. “You fucking idiot, why did you have to go and push him? You pathetic asshole.”

He continued to mutter insults to himself as he pulled on boots and a sweatshirt before bolting out into the frigid night air. “It’s not like he wasn’t acting like a prick too. I don’t understand why he can’t just tell me. Isn’t that what couples do or some shit?” The thing was, Carlos had never been in a relationship long enough to know what couples truly did. “Fuck,” he breathed out again, his breath forming a cloud as he stormed down the street. Of course, Cecil was throwing a full on fit and had left the house. Of course, it just had to be on the night that the temperature was negative-70 degrees and…

Carlos was over-exaggerating. He took a deep breath, and trudged on through the frigid air. “This is your fault, idiot. You have to fix it. Stop complaining and just fucking find him before anything happens.”

He prayed to God, or whatever other entity was watching over Night Vale, that nothing would.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, you all are wonderful. Special thanks to Pickled Death for being a hella fab beta.


End file.
